Friday, October 9, 2009

First Message from Marcia


The best way to know who I am is to read the Booklet on my website:

I also own and have run (for 20 years now) the Affinity Exchange dating service:

Below is an article I wrote, which is on my Message from Marcia site.


“I want to find the perfect match.”

How many times have I heard this, having been in the matchmaking business for 20 years?!
It sorta makes me shudder. Why? I guess because it hits my “unreality” button. Well, it’s probably not a button. It’s probably because I consider that “perfect matches” in this day and age on this planet are pretty rare.

I must say that there are a lot of Affinity Exchange marriages that are doing very well over long periods of time. Then, on the other side of the coin, AE has been around long enough for me to have witnessed some breakups. (Happily the percentage is WAAAAAAY below societal norms.)
I prefer the term “good workable relationship”, or something along those lines.

How does one define a “workable relationship”? Various ways, of course. But one that I came up with was a relationship in which the times the partners make each other happy are more than the times they make each other unhappy. Just do the numbers!

Few people are “perfect.” So I encourage people in a courtship to ask themselves if they can live with the other person’s imperfections. The courtship should go on long enough for those imperfections to manifest. Thus one can determine if they are “livable withable,” or not.

Another piece of advice: If the relationship does not work AS YOU [BOTH] ARE, end it, rather than assuming the imperfections will be handled. They probably will… some day… but remind yourself that you don’t know when or how long it will take.

This leads to another piece of advice: I suggest that in your profiles you refrain from going on and on about all the incredible qualities you are looking for in your ideal mate. By all means put these in your own personal ideal scene writeup. But keep your profile more open, like: “Woman. Looking for man.” (Tee hee. Joke. Sort of…)
Happy courting!

Love, Marcia
(818) 552-2211